Carnival of Homeschooling: Making Time for Things That Matter- 2011 Planning

Are you ready for 2011? For the last Carnival of Homeschooling for 2010, we have a loose collection of posts under the general topic of Making Time for Things that Matter. I find that the beginning of a new year is a good time to reflect on the year just past and think ahead to what we’d like to see happen in the new year. At the very least, it’s a good time to count blessings!

The post I’d like to share from my Taking Time for Things that Matter blog is from earlier this month, and it’s called Plan to Live Life on Purpose. It followed an article on Impact: Making Time for Things that Matter, which you may also find helpful.

In Weed It And Reap, Nancy offers encouragement for homeschool moms who are just beginning or are feeling overwhelmed at Sage Parnassus, a blog with a focus on books, education, and encouragement in the Charlotte Mason tradition.

Jill has shared Binding Books Beautifully ~ Motivating Reluctant Writers at Sweet Diva. Learn how to motivate reluctant writers (and encourage eager writers) with a hands-on book making project!

In My Arms Were Too Short to Box with God, Letty Brown offers a very personal look at her journey into homeschooling at The Bold and the Fabulous. Read more

Can You Help Me Decide? Cover Options for the Planner

I’ve been trying to choose art for the cover of the Making Time for Things that Matter Life Planner, and am having a hard time making a decision– I like each of the paintings! I want to start with one cover, but perhaps offer other options in the future for those who want to have a different cover for each year’s planner.

Beyond the cover, I’d appreciate comments about what you’d like to see in the perfect planner, too. I’m including everything I’ve always wanted in a planning calendar, and we may as well make it comprehensive! So far I’ve included week- and month-at-a-glance pages, space for mapping your mission and goals for the coming year, project tracking and accountability, to-do and shopping list spaces, a day-map planning page, birthday and contact pages, space for packing and favorite meal lists, space for a “What We’re Learning This Year” overview, an emergency list, Grandma Ellen’s Housekeeping Schedule, and a bit more.

The current cover options are below in rough draft form. Please leave a comment to let me know which, if any, you prefer. As you can see, I enjoy featuring lesser-known works of classic artists, though I may add photographic covers someday as well.

Berry Picking Children a Summer Day by Gerda Wallander, 1905

Children of the Sea by Jozef Israëls- 1872

Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose by John Singer Sargent, 1885-1886

Giving and Receiving Grace-fully

Give with love, receive with gratitude.

Are you thinking about gifts and giving this morning? Perhaps even about receiving a gift or two? Whichever one it is, I’m sure you have lots of company. The thing I’ve found about gifting is that the older I get, the more relaxed I am about it, and as a result, the whole process becomes simpler. If gift-giving occasions make you feel stressed or depressed, perhaps our gifting story will help.

Donald and I recently celebrated our 29th anniversary with a nice weekend away together, and an interesting gift for each of us. The key was that we got to pick out our own gifts, so we got to enjoy browsing antique and thrift shops together and finding that magical momento of the occasion. At least that’s what my gift, a vintage Kenneth J. Lane 3-strand pearl necklace (think Jackie Kennedy or Barbara Bush), was for me.

Donald’s gift, on the other hand was a splendidly powerful Stihl chain saw. His favorite downtime hobby is cutting firewood, and he spends many weekends a year cutting and splitting. This is his third Stihl, and I know he’ll get hours of delight from it.

Now I’ll admit, I didn’t start life with a burning desire to choose my own gifts, or have other people choose theirs. I enjoy the process of choosing a special gift for someone I know well, and I absolutely love the fun and excitement of opening presents. However, like many of us, I learned a few things after I got married.

Among Donald’s many talents there’s a gap. He was born without what I call a “floofy” gene. In other words, he’s practical. He doesn’t see the point in spending time alone shopping and buying something, using our joint checking account, without knowing it’s something I’d need or want. Not only did we not have extra money to spend on non-essentials, he didn’t feel it was good time management to take time away from home and family to shop. He’s not even the type of guy who would come home with a vacuum cleaner or fancy cooking item. He believes that if I need anything like that, I can find and buy it much more efficiently than he can.

So. . . I spent the first couple of special occasions after we were married hoping that a miraculous transplant of the floofy gene had occurred since the last occasion, and being sadly disappointed when it hadn’t. Eventually, I realized that I’d either have to adjust, or spend the rest of our marriage regarding special occasions as time for mourning.

Since I loathe whining, adapting was the only viable choice. I had to accept that gifts, like grace, are by definition unearned and unmerited. No one owes us any kind of gift at any time. If something is not freely and joyously given in love, it’s a token of duty rather than a gift, and that’s not something any of us needs. On the other hand, if something is given in love, even if it’s small, used, ill-fitting, or otherwise unsuitable, it needs to be received in love, with a graceful expression of gratitude for the loving thought that inspired it.

In addition, I think we must always assume that there’s a loving thought behind a gift, and respond accordingly, because love thinks no evil (I Corinthians 13). Making negative assumptions as to a giver’s motive is one good way to way to lose your joy and spoil relationships. If someone gives you a garment that’s too large, it’s probably not because they think you’re fat–they’re just not great at guessing sizes. If they give you a new ostrich feather duster, it’s probably not because they think you’re slothful– it’s because an ostrich feather duster can make dusting fun. Making false assumptions isn’t wise or scriptural, and it’s a fast track to unhappiness.

The funny thing is, after 29 years, I’ve come around to Donald’s way of thinking, and thoroughly enjoy being able to give him the thing he wants most. When we shop together for my gift, it reminds us of the early days of our marriage when we enjoyed browsing antique and thrift stores, art and craft shows and flea markets. Once we had children and my grandparents living with us, those times almost vanished, so it’s fun to revisit them. Some years, we don’t have anything we specifically want or need, or don’t have money in the budget for anything extra. We can usually squeeze in a little time together, though, and that’s fun.

For our children, we followed traditional gift-giving customs until they reached the teen years. At that point, they could request a special item or cash to buy something on their own. For many years, our oldest son chose music and history courses from The Teaching Company, while the others usually opted for a shopping trip in which they could choose gifts up to a specified dollar amount. In some ways, we transferred the anticipation from receiving an object to the experience of doing something fun and special together. It’s worked well, and sometimes we still do it even though they’re grown.

I tell you all that to remind you that there are many ways to give and receive, but above all, whatever you do needs to be done in love, grace, and gratitude. If you have married into a family with different gifting traditions from your own, remember that it’s possible to adapt and create new traditions that you’ll grow to enjoy as much as the ones you grew up with.

There’s never any room in true giving for unloving attitudes and behavior, so if something is causing difficulty, remember that you are the only person whose heart you can change. You can’t squash another person (especially your husband) into your mold, even if you are always right and have “better” traditions;-).

Children will have a hard time learning contentment and gratitude if they don’t see it practiced in love. It’s important that they learn to express thanks for whatever they receive, even if it’s not something they’d ever want. They can still be grateful for the love that inspired the gift, and bless the giver with gratitude. A gift they don’t love may be just what someone else wants or needs.

Special occasions and holidays can be times of joy if you approach them in gratitude for whatever comes. Choosing to harbor disappointment or resentment, or trying desperately to manipulate someone else into behaving as you wish they would is a recipe for unhappiness and clouded memories. It’s freeing to know that you have the option to adjust your thoughts and be grateful, no matter what.

Interestingly, this summer Donald found himself at an art and craft fair alone, and he surprised me with a lovely gift. Because I wasn’t expecting it, it was doubly special, and I’ll always wear it with the happy knowledge that he took the time to think of me and find something beautiful.

Create traditions that work within your family, greet gifts with love and gratitude, and whatever you give, give in a spirit of love and grace, releasing the recipient from any assumed obligation for a specific type of response or reciprocation. True gifts come without strings!

Foundlings by Matthew Christian Harding- Book 1 of The Peleg Chronicles

Looking for a special gift for a reader? Be sure to check out The Peleg Chronicles by Matthew Christian Harding. They are delightful adventures, replete with dragons and giants, but with no magic, evolution, or humanism.

Foundlings and Paladins, the first two books in the Chronicles, are currently available, and I’m watching closely for the next one in the series, as Mr. Harding is a master of the cliff-hanger ending.

You can read more and purchase the books at www.matthewchristianharding.com. I plan to post a full review soon, but I just wanted to let you know about these.

How Do You Socialize a Homeschooled Child?

It’s amazing that this question still comes up, but I guess it does. I hope you enjoy this brief, funny video! (Scroll down a bit.)

Plan to Live Life on Purpose

Warm and at peace...

As we approach the end of 2010, my thoughts turn toward the coming year. I like to spend some quiet time looking back at the year we’ve just lived– its joys and sorrows, its milestones and hurdles– and meditate on what I’ve learned, and where I need to go. As I think through these things, I begin planning for next year. Planning and setting goals helps me live life on purpose, making time for things that matter, rather than letting life just happen.

Wikipedia defines a goal as “a projected state of affairs that a person or a system plans or intends to achieve.” Goals are not a to-do list, but rather a snapshot of your vision for a desired outcome. Therefore, it’s important to have a very clear picture of what you want to achieve before you set any goals. For many years I have used mission statements to guide my yearly goal-setting, and those statements provide a vision of what I want individual goals to accomplish.

Mission Statements

Mission statements can be long or short, but I’ve found that for most people a short, memorable mission statement works best. I prefer to have short, separate mission statements for each of my life roles– mother, wife, daughter, writer, teacher, friend. Here’s my “Mom Mission” statement: “I will create a loving, serene, creative environment that encourages personal and spiritual growth in a warm, nurturing family.” Notice that the mission addresses the “being” part of our family. Goals will address the “doing” end of things.

Goals

Once you have a mission statement that captures your vision for a particular area of life, outline up to three goals in that area. It’s important to create just a few realistic goals or you’ll feel overwhelmed and never get started. For instance, goals for my Mom Mission have varied over the years, but usually included daily quiet time, nurturing dinner table conversations, and a focus on home-centered activities. Goals are not tasks– those come next!

The Plan

In order to meet goals, you’ll need to create a plan for making it happen. Ask yourself what needs to happen in order to meet your goals. Is there something you need to make, buy, move, repurpose, or change? Do you need to revise your daily schedule (or create one) in order to make time for something new? What do you need to communicate to your children, and how will you do so? List what you need to do in order to achieve the goal, and estimate how long it might take to accomplish it.

For example, if you want to begin having a daily quiet time for each person in the family, decide where each person’s quiet time spot will be (everyone needs to have a separate space, even if it’s just tucked behind a sofa or under the dining room table). Make a list of the kinds of activities that are permitted during quiet time– I always allowed naps, reading, writing, drawing, clay, or quiet building blocks, and share the list with everyone.

If you’ve never done quiet time with your family, briefly explain what you’re doing and why. Share the idea with joy and enthusiasm so they’ll understand that it’s something wonderful for everyone. If you meet with resistance, simply move forward, being pleasant but firm. Remember, you’re the mom!

Living life on purpose takes planning, but making time for things that matter means being flexible. Once you’ve established your vision and goals, remember that the long-term mission is more important than the stort-term task list. If you take your eyes off the goal of a loving, serene, creative environment, you might find yourself snapping at children who interrupt while you’re virtuously rearranging the house to accomodate quiet time. It’s often harder to live the fruit of the spirit than it is to complete a to-do list, but your mission statement can keep you focused.