Carnival of Homeschooling: The Beach Reading Edition

The homeschool carnival makes great beach reading.

I’m delighted to host the June 22, 2010 edition of Carnival of Homeschooling! It may be summer, but homeschoolers never stop thinking and learning. To celebrate the season, let’s imagine that we’re at a lovely beach with waves breaking, a gentle breeze blowing, and palm trees rustling. Now…. relax and read while your dear children build sand castles!

Three Things to Consider When Making Curriculum Decisions

I know that it’s curriculum-choosing time for a lot of you, and after talking with parents at the last two conventions, I wanted to suggest three things to think about before you make any curriculum decisions.

Your student’s learning style
Your household patterns and routines
Your student’s gifts and goals

Your Student’s Learning Style

It’s important to know whether your student learns best by seeing, hearing, or doing. When you work with a student’s learning style, rather than against it, the student will learn more easily and retain a lot more of what he learns. If you are teaching multiple students using one curriculum, adapt it to fit whenever you can. For example, if you have an auditory learner, allow him to sometimes listen to audiobooks, rather than read everything, especially if he needs to read something that is full of challenging ideas, such as classic literature. If you have a kinesthetic (hands-on) learner, look for resources that will actively engage him, such as science with a laboratory component, or literature that requires looking, listening, and doing. Read more

Homeschool Through High School Workshop Replays

Ultimate Homeschool Expo 2010

Several of you have asked about replays from the Homeschooling through High School workshop I did for Cindy Rushton’s Ultimate Homeschool Expo a couple of days ago, and a few of you wrote that you hadn’t been able to click the link I sent out in e-mail. So here it is on the blog– I’ve even tested it for you!

We had such fun on this call, and there were so many questions at the end that the call lasted almost two hours. We were happy to share so much information about the scary subjects– transcripts, records, college admissions, financial aid, and more. If you were able to be on the call, I hope you were reassured by it all.

If you weren’t able to make it to the live call, Cindy has a page up that will tell you how to access this recording and all the other speakers she’ll be hosting over the next couple of weeks. The UHSE is an amazing online event, and it’s well worth putting on your calendar. You can check it all out at the Ultimate Homeschool Expo homepage.

Hey Mom, Listen to this Great Performance: How to Raise a Boy, Part 3

Saturday’s beautiful weather must have inspired all the boys. Shortly after I came back from checking out the jungle gym (see the previous post), my oldest son Craig, 25, e-mailed me to check out the beautiful performance he’d just found of Franz Lizst’s Christus. He’d posted it as his Facebook status for the weekend, and wanted to make sure I got to enjoy it too.

Here’s what he wrote to accompany it:

“Favorite musical selection for this weekend. Franz Liszt’s amazing oratorio on the life of Christ. I listen to this final section all the time. This is rarely performed and recordings are hard to come by. This is a video I created from my music collection. Please take the time to listen to this music, it can change your life. Have a blessed weekend.”

He posts a favorite classical music section almost daily. If you click to read all the information he included with this video, you’ll find an overview of the oratorio, the artists, and finally the words to this particular piece, plus links to more information. If you want to learn more about classical music, he’s a good person to know.

Guess what? I didn’t teach him all this. I didn’t teach him how to listen to and understand classical music; how to discern small differences that make one performance superior to another; or how to transfer music from a CD to a video that could go into YouTube (he actually considers himself a techno-klutz, with fairly good reason).

All we did was provide access to the family stereo with the radio dial set to NPR, plus Music and Moments with the Masters tapes and Beethoven Lives Upstairs and others in that series. When we asked what he wanted for his 14th birthday, he requested the audio course, How to Listen to and Understand Great Music with Robert Greenberg, published by The Teaching Company. He listened to it repeatedly, and for each subsequent birthday asked for and received other Teaching Company courses on music, history, literature, philosophy, and government.

Oh, and we also gave him the time and freedom to listen, learn, and then explore what he wanted to learn more about. We tried to make sure none of his brothers teased him about singing audibly, and as one result, he’s currently preparing for an April 18 recital of tenor arias (you’re welcome to come if you’re in Central Virginia). He also sings in the Central Virginia Masterworks Chorale, along with our youngest son (you met him in the snake story a couple of days ago) and enjoys playing tenor roles in our local opera company.

You’re probably beginning to discern a common theme in this How to Raise a Boy series. Let your boys be who they are. Give them all the time, space, freedom, and love you possibly can, and don’t spend your life saying “quiet!” and “don’t.” Craig led many woodland forays, got dirty with the best of them, and yet, his love of music and history has always defined him. If he had to wait for me to learn it all and teach him, he wouldn’t know a fraction of what he knows.

Children have nearly unlimited time to learn things quickly while their interest is hot, and if you can provide resources and time, chances are they’ll learn way more than you’ll ever teach them. It may not be on a topic you’d choose, but they need to be able to explore what really interests them so they will know themselves and their unique gift and calling when they reach adulthood. An overly regimented child is less likely to really know what he enjoys, or where his true skills lie. Even though it may seem counter-intuitive, doing less with them is often better than doing more. Children are people too, and they need time and space to become who they were meant to be.

*Note: This series of posts is presented, not in a spirit of “I did it all right,” because no one knows better than I how many things I didn’t do right, but in a spirit of encouragement. I share them because I wish you joy. I also want to encourage you that you can take this opportunity to discipline your own irrational fears so that you won’t pass them on to your children. “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self-control.” II Timothy 1:7.

Hey Mom, Want to See My Jungle Gym? How to Raise Boys, Part 2

As I mentioned in the previous post, Saturday was a beautiful day. We had a wonderful time doing indoor/outdoor projects. Toward evening, our third son, 20, invited me to come see the new jungle gym he’d built for himself. I’d seen the scale drawing he’d done in Google SketchUp (a delightful free resource), so I was eager to see how it had turned out.

The jungle gym design in Google SketchUp.

We walked down to where he’d built it, and to say I was impressed was an understatement. It’s huge. He demonstrated what each portion of it was for, with plenty of heart-stopping moments. He’s into a sport called parkour, and this is an excellent training spot. Here is a photo of the completed project in place, and a photo of Bryan walking on one of the poles. I tried it, and let’s just say that “results may vary.”

The completed jungle gym.

Bryan walking on the poles. He can walk all the way across.

What boy-raising lesson can you glean from this project?

Your sons will teach themselves amazing things if you give the time and space to learn what they can do.

Trust me, I didn’t discover SketchUp or parkour, and I’d have never thought of salvaging a bunch of old pipes and fittings to make a jungle gym. I didn’t even show him how to use my camera, take these photos (including the timed one of himself on the bars), or how to upload them into his computer, then transfer them to mine. He has discovered all this on his own over the past 20 years.

It takes a boy with a boy’s interests to find the thread of an idea and follow it through to the creation of a project he really enjoys. The key ingredient is free time and the liberty to explore, try new things, and yes– get hurt occasionally. It takes trusting that if you provide time, tools, and skills, they will use them. It also takes understanding that education is about a whole lot more than doing school.

Our boys roamed through our patch of woods with sticks and homemade spears, bows and arrows, and wooden guns. These evolved into real bows and arrows and AirSoft guns eventually, but the one rule was that they must never shoot at or near a living creature. They built forts and treehouses, dug trenches, climbed trees, played in the creek, collected rocks, built campfires and played outside—all with a minimum of fuss. They even (gasp!) got dirty.

This was not because because I had great tomboy credentials (if any of my childhood friends are reading this, it will probably be awhile before they rejoin us– they’re probably laughing themselves silly at the thought). It wasn’t because I knew everything about raising boys (I was raised by my grandparents, so no brothers). It wasn’t even because I thought a lot about it.

It was mostly because I just remembered my own childhood, and knew that I enjoyed trying things and being free to climb into the avocado tree or onto the garage roof with a book. I grew up in southern California, so there was rarely a reason to be inside during daylight, and I loved being outside as much as possible. I remembered the joy of being trusted by my grandfather to try all sorts of interesting things, and the utter frustration of hearing too frequent “Be careful!” cautions from my grandmother.

Of course, there are always boundaries that must be established, and they will vary depending on where you live. Our boys were able to roam with a fair amount of freedom, and sometimes they crossed boundaries. Sometimes they did things they weren’t supposed to do. But overall, allowing them to develop their own interests while learning their physical limitations worked well for them. Because they learned how to use their physical skills, and they understood from a realistic basis of experience what they physically could and could not do, they’ve had a very low broken-bone count. Three of them have broken a collarbone while playing sports, and if I recall correctly, that’s all. Not a bad price to pay for confidence, creativity, and coordination!

So, love those boys and trust them to try things. When they learn the possible, they can begin to tackle the impossible, and who knows what they’ll accomplish?

Momma, Want to See a Snake? How to Raise Boys, Part 1

It was a beautiful spring day, and we spent most of it with doors open, happily going in and out with various tasks and projects. It was mid-afternoon when my youngest son, 18, came in. “Momma, do you want to see a big snake?”

For all of you moms who are new at parenting boys, here’s a quick hint: The correct answer is, “Sure. What kind do you think he is?” If you’re an experienced homeschool mom, you’ll also know to suggest taking a photo so that Mr. Snake can be added to the kid’s nature notebooks.

Here's a black snake that's not big enough to be scary!

I quit whatever I was doing, and we walked out together to see the snake (most likely a black snake, according to my son’s description). By the time we got back to where he had been spotted, he was gone.

We ended up walking all the way around the woodland path, with ds pausing to push down a few dead trees. (As a certified mom of boys, I know that the correct response for this is, “Where should I stand?” The wrong thing to say is “Be careful!”) A quick walk to view a snake turned into a nice opportunity to chat and reminisce about when the boys were young. We both enjoyed seeing what was budding, as well as our visit.

Of course, some of you are excused from going to see Mr. Snake (if ships can be female, then snakes can be male). For example, if you’re in labor, you don’t need to go. If the house is on fire, the baby needs to be fed, someone is bleeding, or sirens are approaching for any other reason, you may ask for a few moments to deal with the distraction. Otherwise you can probably afford to take a moment to share your child’s interest in a wild creature.

I hate to tell you that being afraid of snakes is not a good reason to decline the invitation. The truth is, the effort you put into getting over (or suppressing) the vapors will be amply repaid by the continued growth and strengthening of your relationship with your child. Each time an invitation is refused, there’s less likelihood that it will be repeated. That may sound good when you have several small ones who all want momma to “Look!” but trust me, in a few years you’ll be glad you shared those interests and are still a part of their life.

Love those sweet boys every single minute, and you’ll be glad you did.

Give Your Child the Benefit of the Doubt

The sweetness of lips increases learning... (Proverbs 16:21)

Do you remember what it’s like to be a child?

Do you remember struggling with something and being told, “Come on, it’s easy! You’re just not trying.” Or worse, “You could do better if you weren’t so lazy/careless.”

Do you remember how that felt?

What if you really were struggling? What if you couldn’t see the chalkboard, or couldn’t hear the teacher clearly? What if you just didn’t quite understand what to do? Did it help to be told that you’re not trying, or that you’re lazy, or careless? Did it make you want to come back to school, to try harder?

I rather doubt it.

If you have a child that’s not doing well with something, stop and think before you speak. If the child is generally cooperative and obedient, is there any reason to assume that he or she has suddenly become uncooperative, careless, lazy, or incompetent?

Children often don’t know how to clearly express a lack of comprehension, and parents can get tired of hearing “I don’t know how,” or “I can’t.” The child may not fully understand that the reason he feels he can’t write a book report is because he’s never seen a completed one. Often, he’ll dawdle, be mischievous, or procrastinate because he truly doesn’t know the next step.

That isn’t the child’s fault, is it?

If a child doesn’t see or hear clearly, he or she usually don’t realize it. If trees have always been green blobs, how would she know that trees don’t look like that to other people? Children can’t explain what they don’t know, so it’s important for those who love them to have their sight and hearing checked regularly, so that problems can be caught and fixed.

One of the biggest responsibilities of parenthood is to model love, grace, and kindness. Remember your own childhood, and how it felt to be unjustly accused or misunderstood. Remember how it felt when someone extended love, grace, and kindness to you, and showed patience and understanding when you had difficulties. Remember God’s love. Pass it on.

Telephone Rules for Homeschools

What’s worse than a day when no one feels like doing school, but you have to do it anyway? I always felt it was much worse to be in the middle of a great school school day, with everyone engaged in lessons, then having the whole thing interrupted by a phone call that pulls you away and creates distraction for your children. When that happens, it’s likely that you never get back into the flow for that day. This doesn’t have to happen, though.

One of the best things I ever did for our homeschool and learning lifestyle was to create a telephone policy. By setting a few simple boundaries, I eliminated an enormous source of potential distraction and frustration, and noticeably increased our number of great school days. Now that the boys are grown, I still follow these guidelines during my writing and business time. Read more

Learning: Mind-Numbing or Mind-Nourishing?

Robinson Crusoe reading

We’ve been finished with our homeschool journey for some time now, but learning is still happening for all of us, and that makes me happy. I’ve been thinking about learning and what makes it stick, what brings it to life, and why some students enjoy it more than others. Here are a few thoughts…

Can you remember the last time you or your student was excited about learning? One of the things I enjoy most about having grown sons is the fact that they are continuing to learn through reading and listening, and are excited about it. One of them will often track me down to tell me all about the book he’s reading or listening to, and we often have conversations that range across the spectrum of knowledge.

Within the last couple of weeks, I’ve enjoyed a discussion of C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity with one of the boys, and had several interesting conversations about a lengthy series of essays by Ayn Rand with another son. They begin the discussions, and I’m usually delighted–though I don’t necessarily agree with everything– at the interesting ideas they bring to the table. I’ve decided that it really does pay to raise your own conversational companions;-)! Read more

Houseplants and Homeschools and Normal Homeschool Moms

It’s only December and the geraniums are pouting, the mandevillas are climbing everything they can reach, and the hibiscus persists in drooping. If I hadn’t left the begonia on the front porch too long, it would be shedding leaves and blossoms everywhere. How does this happen to me every year?

As I made my rounds with the watering can, I realized that my lament sounded an awful lot like some of what I used to think about homeschooling. Right about the time the weather turned cold, the new had worn off the lesson plans, all the interesting books had been read, and all that was left was squirming and math, not necessarily in that order.

How long does it take to reach that “whose bright idea was this anyway” point in your homeschool year? If you’re a first-year homeschooler, you may feel a bit alarmed when it happens. You may even feel like a “bad” homeschooler. I know I did, but that was only until I realized it was happening every year, and every other homeschooler I met seemed to be having similar thoughts.

For what it’s worth, it’s normal to have these moments. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed on some days, and it’s normal to wish for peace and quiet. Here are a few things you can do to make “normal” bearable: Read more

← Previous Page — Next Page →