Socialization… Again

Although homeschooling has become far more mainstream than it was when we first began in the 1980’s, the question of socialization occasionally still pops up.

A recent article, “Get Out Much?” by Rachel Barlow, on the Nashoba Publishing website details one home-school parent’s response to a fellow airplane passenger who commented, “Socialization is so important. I would never homeschool.” Barlow thoughtfully compared actual social time in public schools with the social time she and her family share with others, and noted that once people hear that they participate in “town sports and school band,” they seem to feel that these things solve the socialization issue.

I have to admit that I have always approached the question of socialization from another direction. I firmly believe that being institutionalized in age-segregated groups is the antithesis of normal socialization. I believe that institutionalization and socialization limited to others of the same age inhibits mental, moral, and spiritual growth.

Learning happens all the time. Students learn from their environment; from the things they hear, see, do, and read; from the people with whom they associate. They have even been known to learn a bit from their school experiences;-)!

Not all learning is academic– well-educated children learn how to treat others, how to react in difficult or painful circumstances, how to entertain themselves, how to manage the intricacies of day-to-day living, to mention just a few things. Most of these things are learned by observation and example.

Frankly, I want my children to learn how to live from people who are wise. I want each of my sons to know how to enjoy solitude; how to learn anything they need to know; how to be kind to others; how to enjoy the best of art, music, and literature, how to enjoy a balance of physical, mental, and spiritual activities, and so much more. In short, I want them to know how to “live quiet and peaceable lives in all godliness and honesty.”

I scarcely think there is a chance that they would learn these things from their agemates, who are in equally desperate need of wise guidance for life. There is almost no chance that they could learn to use time wisely, independently, and enjoyably if they are institutionalized and hurried from one meaningless activity to another at the sound of a bell. There is little likelihood that they would learn to love the good, the true, and the beautiful, when they are surrounded, inundated, and overwhelmed with mediocrity, relativism, and ugliness.

From my perspective, home education allows children to live a normal life. I remember my own deep frustration in institutional schools as I grew up. I knew that my life and time were being wasted. I skipped as much school as I could, but when forced to go, took several books to school each day, finished the simplistic classwork early, and read as much as possible (oddly enough, I will still voted “most likely to succeed!”). Once home, I was free to be outside, and to play, read, write, do needlework, and work in the various small business ventures I started. As soon as I left the school, I had a life as a real person, rather than existence as one small part of a mindless mob.

I’m deeply grateful that we were able to give our boys a relaxed, normal life. They have been able to develop independent interests, they have friends, and they are nice people whose company I greatly enjoy. They enjoy music, books, sports, and other interests, but are not consumed by any of them; they have traveled widely; and they have experienced far more than would be possible if they’d had to endure endless hours of institutionalization.

The definition of “socialize” found in The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary is to “Make social; make fit to live in society; spec. in sociology, transmit to (an individual) the cultural values and behavior standards of the social group of which he or she is a member.”
The world is large and diverse, and social groups are many. Whether by purpose, or by default, parents choose whether their child is socialized to the values and behaviors of those who love the good, the true, and the beautiful, or to the current manifestation of pop culture. It’s a choice worth careful consideration.

Rachel Barlow’s fellow passenger had it half right when he said– “Socialization is so important.” But I differ with him on the last bit– I wouldn’t leave it to an institution.

One who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20

For further reading:

For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macauley (One of my favorite introductions to a family-based, Charlotte Mason style of education from the daughter of Francis Schaeffer.)

Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto (A short, shocking overview of what students really learn in institutional schooling. A must-read.)

The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewelyn (An interesting, secular look at unschooling– very thought-provoking.)

The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn and Hal Iggulden (I just got this book– it’s a compendium of useful information on all sorts of subjects of interest to boys –knots, soccer rules, dog tricks, making a periscope, tanning a skin, famous battles, timers and tripwires, and a lot more. This could lead to true, independent learning! It’s very nicely done, with plentiful illustrations to tempt the reluctant reader. Expect to see it dogeared!)

Note: If you aren’t on the newsletter mailing list, I’ve posted the mid-summer issue on my website. Here’s a list of the topics:

Summer Reading
Homeschooling at the Speed of Life- A Review
Hands-On Resource for the Dog Days of Summer
Helping the Estes Family of Hands and Hearts
Reprintable Article: Year-End Testing- Let the Buyer Beware! (Don’t miss this article!)

Click here to read it!

In the Garden- An 1899 Excerpt

This time of year I am besotted by the garden, and have great difficulty staying indoors for any length of time at all. In fact, anything on my horizon that doesn’t need to be fed or planted seems dim and distant:-). In the evenings, I read garden-related things, and make long lists of things to plant, prune, or pluck the next day.

One delightful old book I enjoy in the spring is Elizabeth and Her German Garden by Elizabeth von Arnim. This little gem was published in 1899, and I would definitely identify Elizabeth as a kindred spirit. Here are a couple of passages for you: Read more

In Memory of Old Yeller- 199?-2007

He was old and his sweet muzzle was white, but we weren’t really ready to say good-bye. But as we prepared to tuck in for the night last evening, I realized that I hadn’t seen Old Yeller for a good part of the day. He usually divided his time between indoors and out, but he loved the deck on a cool, sunny day. We stepped outside to search, and there he was, lying on the brick walkway, as if asleep.

I’ll miss seeing him trot down the path toward the creek, tail waving. I’ll miss his excited puppy dance when he comes in feeling particularly frisky (as he sometimes still did). I’ll miss his diplomatic skills with visiting dogs– he’d greet them with waving tail, and escort them around the yard, as if showing them the sights. I’ll miss seeing him bestow sloppy kisses across the cat’s faces. I’ll probably even miss the occasions when we all exclaimed, “Old Yeller! What have you been rolling in?”

Read more

In One Ear…

…and out the other. Remember that saying? Unfortunately, that’s almost completely true for visual learners. Auditory learners, on the other hand, could probably say “In one eye and out the other” with as much accuracy. I hadn’t thought of it before, but learning style is a part of everything we do, not just academic work. Learning style affects creative expression in art and music, and doubtless, affects which of the two we find more compelling.

The difference between auditory and visual learning styles was ever so clear to me last night as our family got together to practice a song for a camp-out this weekend. My auditory learner chose the song, “Then Came the Morning” from a Churchmen CD, and we have all been singing it casually for awhile. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find an arrangement we liked in the key we needed, so we just gave the CD to my daughter-in-law so she could create an accompaniment. When she arrived last night with the words to the chorus scribbled on a piece of notebook paper with chords noted above, I realized she must be an auditory learner as well– especially when the accompaniment she played sounded just like the accompaniment on the CD.

Read more

TV Turn-Off Week- Why Not Just Toss It?

Turning off the television is always a fabulous idea. I don’t have one to turn off, but if I did, I’d certainly be happy to celebrate TV Turnoff Week. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to sit and stare when they could be living!

Sponsored by the Center for Screen-Time Awareness, TV Turn-Off week has been celebrated during the fourth week in April since 1995. According to the Center’s website,

“Television cuts into family time,

harms our children’s ability to read and succeed in school,

and contributes to unhealthy lifestyles and obesity.”

Well, duh…

It reminds me of the television poem in Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Have you read it? I won’t reproduce it all here, but you can read it all at the Rice University website.

I totally concur with Dahl’s first stanza:

“The most important thing we’ve learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set –
Or better still, just don’t install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we’ve been,
We’ve watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out….”

Dahl goes on to point out exactly what happens to these lolling and slopping TV watchers:

“But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK — HE ONLY SEES!”

Not a pretty picture, eh? You notice Dahl was using all caps to ’scream’ long before it became an internet convention! But he obviously felt deeply about the issue, and so do I.

Dahl doesn’t leave us with nothing to do, though. In the final stanzas of the poem, he implores:

“So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They’ll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start — oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They’ll grow so keen
They’ll wonder what they’d ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.”

And to that I would add, “Go out and play!” Children should have free time to build forts, play in the dirt, swing on the swingset, play hide and seek, run Tonka trucks over each other’s sand forts (and learn to resolve squabbles;-)), play dolls or teddy bears, draw, paint, practice cooking (”yes dear, that’s a very interesting cake”), smoosh clay, climb trees, play the piano, harmonica, guitar, or accordian, throw snowballs (and possibly dirt clods), splash in creeks, build with Legos or Fischertechnic, catch crawdads, re-enact famous battles or scenes from favorite books, learn to knit, crochet, and embroider, and just run, jump, and play.

As they grow older, they need time to learn hand skills as well as head skills. If they are sitting and staring, being mindlessly entertained, how can they can travel, plant gardens, lay brick paths, learn to use tools, practice cooking (edibly), hone sports skills, hike, bike, climb, trim trees, start a small business, write letters to the editor, lend a helping hand by volunteering, write a book, or have any real fun? And when will they ever have time to play hide and seek in the back yard with the whole family? That’s fun!

There’s so much in life to see and do, and it’s all so much more rewarding than lolling and slopping! If you have a television, I encourage you to seriously consider tossing it. You really won’t miss it!

And finally, brain scientist Jane Healy’s classic, Endangered Minds, offers many more compelling reasons to toss the television. If you have children and you haven’t read it, please do so. It’s scholarly, but very accessible, and the evidence she provides that television actually changes children’s brains is truly unsettling. Healy’s scientific evidence supports what common sense has told us all along– heavy television watchers are less literate and have more learning difficulties than children who grow up with books. No surprise there! There’s a lot more, though, so it’s a book I highly recommend.

This week, I hope you enjoy many tv-free hours. Life is waiting!

Carpe diem…

Endangered Minds

I wandered lonely as a Cloud…

Daffodil-copyright freefoto.comSpring just isn’t spring until I can share Wordsworth’s delight in daffodils. Poetry is experience distilled to its essence. Once you’ve enjoyed an experience through poetry, you’ll find that both experience and poem are enriched.

The daffodils are in full dress in our yard today, like scraps of sunlight scattered about. If you don’t have daffodils in your garden, do plan to plant some bulbs next fall. They’re absolutely easy-care, and they’ll reward you by multiplying year after year.

Enjoy!

Here is the 1815 poem by William Wordsworth:

I wandered lonely as a Cloud
That floats on high o’er Vales and Hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Read more

Enjoying Spring With Thoreau

Forsythia embracing an azalea...I took my own advice this afternoon and went for a walk outside. It was a beautiful, balmy afternoon, so I walked the path my boys made through the woods for me, then went down to sit by the creek for a little while. The sky was daubed with Constable-worthy clouds, and buds are swelling at the ends of countless twigs. Our tiny creek had enough water to burble gently, and it all felt so peaceful.

Back in the yard, the daffodils are beginning to bloom, and sweet box is spreading its sweet fragrance near the front porch steps. I’ve seen bluebirds trying out the houses we’ve posted around the edge of the woods, and the goldfinches are beginning to turn yellow once more. Spring is bursting out everywhere, and it reminds me of Henry David Thoreau’s lyrical description of spring on Walden Pond:

“The first sparrow of spring! The year beginning with younger hope than ever! The faint silvery warblings heard over the partially bare and moist fields from the bluebird, the song sparrow, and the red-wing, as if the last flakes of winter tinkled as they fell! What at such a time are histories, chronologies, traditions, and all written revelations? The brooks sing carols and glees to the spring. The marsh hawk, sailing low over the meadow, is already seeking the first slimy life that awakes. Read more

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