Homework Insanity- This Emperor has No Clothes

Did you see Jeff Opdyke’s column on homework in Sunday’s Wall Street Journal (How Homework Is Hurting Our Family, September 30, 2007)? It was heartbreaking. He vividly described how their family life is “a constant, stress laden stream of homework and tests and projects [that] overshadows everything we do, always hanging over our head… [affecting] our weekends, our meals, our vacations, our work time, our playtime, our pocketbooks.”

Is this crazy, or what? Opdyke goes on to describe how homework stress affects each one in the family, short-circuiting tempers, straining schedules, and causing his wife Amy to feel like the “worst mom in the world.” He has talked to other parents who have ended up with kids on anxiety medications in order to cope with the stress. His own son is showing signs of intense stress– sleeplessness, anxiety, forgetfulness under pressure, and distress over less than outstanding grades.

Frankly, this sounds like a new wrinkle in the enabling syndrome. Middle-class parents enable schools to not only institutionalize their children for the majority of their waking hours, but also to consume the remaining hours of family time– all in the name of potential future success. Think about it– it hasn’t always been this way. Read more

What Does Education Look Like? Part II- Socialization

I came across an article that fit perfectly with this series, as well as with the thoughts I shared on socialization a few weeks ago. I got permission to reprint it, and you’ll find the entire piece on my website (CLICK HERE). I had to snip this excerpt for this installment of “What Does (Institutional) Education Look Like?” It could also be titled “How Institutional School Applies (or Doesn’t) to Real Life.”

Does any of this sound familiar?

Your employer is auditing the inter-office e-mail system and comes across a personal note between you and a coworker. You are required to stand at the podium in the next sales meeting to read it aloud to your coworkers.

The police knock on your door, and announce that because you and your neighbor have gotten so close, they’re separating you. You must move your home and your belongings to the other side of town, and you may only meet at public places on weekends.

You’re sitting at a booth waiting for a coworker to arrive for a scheduled lunch date. Suddenly a member of upper management sits down across from you and demands your credit cards. When your friend arrives, you just order water and claim you’re not hungry, since your lunch money has been stolen.

You’re applying for a job and in an unconventional hiring practice, you are made to line up with other applicants, and wait patiently while representatives from two competing companies take their pick from the lineup.

You’re taking your parents out for an anniversary dinner. After you find a table, a waiter tells you that seniors have a separate dining room, lest they “corrupt” the younger members of society.

You go to the grocery store only to find that since you are 32 years old you must shop at the store for 32 year olds. It’s 8 miles away and they don’t sell meat because the manager is a vegetarian, but your birthday is coming up and soon you’ll be able to shop at the store for 33 yr. olds.

You’d like to learn about Aviation History. You go to the library and check out a book on the subject only to be given a list of “other subjects” that you must read about before you are permitted to check out the aviation book.

You’re having a hard time finding what you need in the local department store. The saleslady explains that each item is arranged alphabetically in the store, so instead of having a section for shoes, you will find the men’s shoes in between the maternity clothes and the mirrors.

Your cable company announces that anyone wishing to watch the Super Bowl this year must log on a certain number of hours watching the Discovery Channel before they can be permitted to watch the game.

You apply for a job only to be told that this job is for 29 year olds. Since you’re 32, you’ll have to stay with your level.

In a group project, your boss decides to pair you up with the person you don’t “click” with. His hope is that you’ll get learn to get along with each other, regardless of how the project turns out.”

You’ll probably want to read the entire article by Lisa Russell on my website.

Socialization… Again

Although homeschooling has become far more mainstream than it was when we first began in the 1980’s, the question of socialization occasionally still pops up.

A recent article, “Get Out Much?” by Rachel Barlow, on the Nashoba Publishing website details one home-school parent’s response to a fellow airplane passenger who commented, “Socialization is so important. I would never homeschool.” Barlow thoughtfully compared actual social time in public schools with the social time she and her family share with others, and noted that once people hear that they participate in “town sports and school band,” they seem to feel that these things solve the socialization issue.

I have to admit that I have always approached the question of socialization from another direction. I firmly believe that being institutionalized in age-segregated groups is the antithesis of normal socialization. I believe that institutionalization and socialization limited to others of the same age inhibits mental, moral, and spiritual growth.

Learning happens all the time. Students learn from their environment; from the things they hear, see, do, and read; from the people with whom they associate. They have even been known to learn a bit from their school experiences;-)!

Not all learning is academic– well-educated children learn how to treat others, how to react in difficult or painful circumstances, how to entertain themselves, how to manage the intricacies of day-to-day living, to mention just a few things. Most of these things are learned by observation and example.

Frankly, I want my children to learn how to live from people who are wise. I want each of my sons to know how to enjoy solitude; how to learn anything they need to know; how to be kind to others; how to enjoy the best of art, music, and literature, how to enjoy a balance of physical, mental, and spiritual activities, and so much more. In short, I want them to know how to “live quiet and peaceable lives in all godliness and honesty.”

I scarcely think there is a chance that they would learn these things from their agemates, who are in equally desperate need of wise guidance for life. There is almost no chance that they could learn to use time wisely, independently, and enjoyably if they are institutionalized and hurried from one meaningless activity to another at the sound of a bell. There is little likelihood that they would learn to love the good, the true, and the beautiful, when they are surrounded, inundated, and overwhelmed with mediocrity, relativism, and ugliness.

From my perspective, home education allows children to live a normal life. I remember my own deep frustration in institutional schools as I grew up. I knew that my life and time were being wasted. I skipped as much school as I could, but when forced to go, took several books to school each day, finished the simplistic classwork early, and read as much as possible (oddly enough, I will still voted “most likely to succeed!”). Once home, I was free to be outside, and to play, read, write, do needlework, and work in the various small business ventures I started. As soon as I left the school, I had a life as a real person, rather than existence as one small part of a mindless mob.

I’m deeply grateful that we were able to give our boys a relaxed, normal life. They have been able to develop independent interests, they have friends, and they are nice people whose company I greatly enjoy. They enjoy music, books, sports, and other interests, but are not consumed by any of them; they have traveled widely; and they have experienced far more than would be possible if they’d had to endure endless hours of institutionalization.

The definition of “socialize” found in The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary is to “Make social; make fit to live in society; spec. in sociology, transmit to (an individual) the cultural values and behavior standards of the social group of which he or she is a member.”
The world is large and diverse, and social groups are many. Whether by purpose, or by default, parents choose whether their child is socialized to the values and behaviors of those who love the good, the true, and the beautiful, or to the current manifestation of pop culture. It’s a choice worth careful consideration.

Rachel Barlow’s fellow passenger had it half right when he said– “Socialization is so important.” But I differ with him on the last bit– I wouldn’t leave it to an institution.

One who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. Proverbs 13:20

For further reading:

For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macauley (One of my favorite introductions to a family-based, Charlotte Mason style of education from the daughter of Francis Schaeffer.)

Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto (A short, shocking overview of what students really learn in institutional schooling. A must-read.)

The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewelyn (An interesting, secular look at unschooling– very thought-provoking.)

The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn and Hal Iggulden (I just got this book– it’s a compendium of useful information on all sorts of subjects of interest to boys –knots, soccer rules, dog tricks, making a periscope, tanning a skin, famous battles, timers and tripwires, and a lot more. This could lead to true, independent learning! It’s very nicely done, with plentiful illustrations to tempt the reluctant reader. Expect to see it dogeared!)

Note: If you aren’t on the newsletter mailing list, I’ve posted the mid-summer issue on my website. Here’s a list of the topics:

Summer Reading
Homeschooling at the Speed of Life- A Review
Hands-On Resource for the Dog Days of Summer
Helping the Estes Family of Hands and Hearts
Reprintable Article: Year-End Testing- Let the Buyer Beware! (Don’t miss this article!)

Click here to read it!